'Tis the season for grief tsunamis!

Tsunamis are ocean waves triggered by large earthquakes.

Which is often what happens to us internally when we’ve experienced the heartbreaking loss of a loved one. Those waves of grief can knock us over, especially when the foundations of our emotional life have crumbled, whether it be the death of our parents, partner, child, or best friends (furry ones included).

The winter holidays are full of reminders of occasions we spent with our loved ones: shopping, cooking, celebrating, commiserating or just hanging out together.

Walk into any grocery store at this time of year and I dare you to NOT be even a little distracted by the Christmas and Hanukkah decorations, which may remind you of the start of your mom’s chemo therapy appointments which you went to with her for 3 months (didn’t think I was going to go there with that association…but it happens for some people on aisle #9 reaching for their mom’s favorite cake mix to make for a holiday party).

Yes, it happens

  the crash of the GRIEF TSUNAMI,

     overcoming you with memories of your precious time with her

         and you find yourself weakening at the knees as you practically

             sprint out of the grocery store before your neighbor sees you

melting in a puddle of tears.

 THAT’s what grief tsunamis do to us. They come out of nowhere and wallop us in the heart.

Take a slow breath.

Take a couple of more breaths (you can always use more oxygen).

Perhaps you can imagine your loved one’s image.

Then draw a heart around that image.

Imagine shrinking your loved one down to the size of inside of your palm

Then put your palm over your heart

Feel your loved one in your heart

Where they have always been.

NOVEMBER 22, 2020