Día de los Muertos
Day of the Dead
As we prepare to celebrate Día de los Muertos, we invite you to share your stories and memories of your loved ones who have passed. Whether it's a cherished moment, a lesson they taught you, or a way they impacted your life, your special tribute can help bring their presence into our shared space of reflection and healing. This is a beautiful opportunity to honor their memory and the lasting connections we hold in our hearts. We look forward to celebrating their lives together!
Confidentiality Disclaimer: Once you share your photo or story online, it will no longer be confidential, as it may be publicly viewable by others. We encourage thoughtful consideration of what you feel comfortable sharing. Your privacy and comfort are of the utmost importance to us.
Livestream
We hosted a special livestream, where we will explore the rich traditions of Día de los Muertos. Led by Rose Castellanos Cruz, this event delves into the origins of this beautiful celebration, the significance of its symbols, and ways to honor and remember our loved ones who have passed. Watch the recorded livestream to deepen your understanding of this meaningful tradition and connect with others in a spirit of remembrance and celebration.
Stories
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Stories 〰️
My dad, Larry. His love language was music. He would make cds and give them away to everyone, even people he met once. He lived life to the fullest until he passed in April of 2018. My son arrived in 2019 and I named him Lennon (after John and after my dad, Larry). My dad walked me down the aisle at my wedding to a Beatles song so this all felt fitting. He will send signs to me through music forever.
My mom, Joanie, was kind, smart and deeply sensitive. When I was a little girl she took me to the local grief center where she was volunteering in memory of her best friend who had died. I asked her how I should act around the kids who had experienced grief. She told me to be myself, to treat them like any other kid and to ask them about their loved one. She taught me so much. I miss her every single day. I will always wish she’d had a different ending.
- Jen
It’s hard for me to talk about my dad. He was emotionally absent throughout my life.
Despite our difficult father/daughter relationship I have great respect for his work as a transplant surgeon. I am still processing his very recent death and still learning how to grieve such a challenging relationship.
I share this story my fellow grievers who feel confused, empty and who are grieving what they never had.
- Jen
My mom's spirit and light were effervescent. Her laughter filled the room. She infused her environment with warmth, humor, and affection. I live by her advice of - "Just put on some music - make it fun!" - when it comes to cleaning, laundry, or any other daunting or tedious tasks. I wish she could have met my son, but he now knows this brilliant trick. Her spirit lives on.
- Katie B
Things I cherish about my dad was his love of reading. He would pick up a book and read it from cover to cover and sometimes he'd read it a couple of times if he enjoyed it. I think I get my love of reading from him. Although he read One Thousand Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Bernal a couple of times and I made several attempts and never finished it. He loved his family, reading, music and soccer. There was always a conversation about soccer, and a game on the TV. My dad also loved Christmas and it was always a big celebration at our house. There are many things I miss about my dad but a couple of things that I miss dearly are his calls and hearing his voice. I also miss his hugs very much.
- Rose
LITTLE LIGHT
When I think of you
My heart, it breaks in two
Lost a part of me
Favorite word was “we"
When I close my eyes
Think back to that time
The feeling's just as real
So maybe you’re still here?
You poured into me
A love so strong and deep
Been gone twenty years
I still hear you speak
But do you ever hear me?
Do you ever hear me?
Do you ever hear me?
Do you ever hear me?
Sick of the moonshine
Why'd God commit this crime
Grief’s the cost of love
Wonder was it worth it this time?
But I feel you in my bones
Like our souls were clones
My whole life I mourned
But what if you only changed forms?
Look at the little light
A phrase you knew was mine
Practiced a thousand times
Walking Brooklyn Heights
You never met my wife
But I showed her all the sites
Down under the Bridge
Where crackheads stole our bikes
Began to tell this tale
When she pointed to the right
My face went white,
she said “Look at the little light”
*
If you think synchronicity
Is merely a coincidence
Hurts me you don’t know a love
Brimming with significance
When you do, your suffering
Will override conditioning
Force your mind to go offline
Uncover the divine
Offerings and sacred tools
Powerful with proper fuel
If your love is deep enough
Reality will bend the rules
To everyone I love and know
Even those I don’t
When I'm gone, just play this song
And know I’m somewhere close
*
And then I found that book
The secrets left me shook
Picked up where you stopped
And I found you at the top!
Followed all your signs
Now we kick it all the time!
Now we kick it all the time!
Now we kick it all the time!
Now when I think of you,
Heart don’t break in two
It fills up with our love
WE can spray it on everyone!
Lets spray it on everyone!
Lets spray it on everyone!
Lets spray it on everyone!
Lets spray it on everyone!
They will leave behind
Crumbs so you can find
Ticket's in your heart
It’s not inside your mind.
I promise if you try
You can find that little light.
Love you Dad,
Todd
My mom suddenly died in 2016 from a stroke and when I think of the holidays I think the most of her because the holidays was a time I spent with her the most. She was known as the "cool tita." Tita means auntie in tagalog. She was the best gift giver and carried herself with so much grace and humor. She deeply cared about people and she inspires me to do the same. I owe so much to her and I am so grateful to have had a mom like her. Miss you so much <3
- Krista
For My Brother, Jimmy
Jimmy was all about having a good time, always laughing and celebrating with friends and family. Like our mom, he had a gift for throwing a party—good food, drinks, and plenty of fun were always at the heart of it. Together, they could make any gathering a celebration.
His battle with melanoma started shortly before our mom’s death and it only deepened his appreciation for life and love. When Jimmy passed away at 32, his daughter was just 14 months old, too young to have her own memories of him. But through the stories we tell, especially from her mom and other aunties and grandparents who hold him so close, she gets to know him. I’m grateful to be one of the people who keeps that connection alive for her.
We miss you every day, Jimmy, and you’ll always be with us.
- Debi
It wasn’t until I was almost 30 that I was able to let go of childish rebellion and accept an adult relationship with my father. Maybe it was the thought of marriage, which was on my mind at the time. Or maybe it took ten years of eking out a living on my own to finally come to see my dad as a man who loved me and valued doing right by his family.
After he retired, he was home more, though he never really stopped traveling. I think he had travelled so much for work it was difficult for him to stay in one place for long. Soon after he retired, he started a consulting which required occasional business travel. I, on the other hand, was just starting my career which required working well into the evenings and working Saturdays.
An occasional Sunday afternoon was usually the time we could muster to catch up. On sunny days when it wasn’t too hot, we’d go outside to sit at an old-tiled patio table under a wide yellow umbrella. We’d drink single malt scotch, and I’d smoke a cigar, something he’d given up many years before. Over the course of a few hours, we’d talk about the world, the family, both the previous generation and the upcoming one, finances, his life, my grandparents, and whatever else the scotch would pry loose.
I soon came to realize that the value I had for our time together was less about the conversations. It wasn’t that I didn’t value his opinions and observations of life, I greatly did. It was that I had come to conclude that the emotional experience of spending time together far outweighed the words. It was life’s gift to me, the opportunity to know the man I spent 20 years trying to escape.
He died about ten years later. It was a six-month struggle with small cell endocrine cancer that led me to his funeral and back to that tiled patio table. After the funeral, family and friends came back to the family home. It was a warm September day and almost everyone was in the backyard. I sat with my brothers around the same patio table with the yellow umbrella. We told stories about dad from our childhoods and lamented our regrets all the while we drank bottles of his single malt.
What I would give for another sunny day.
- Mark
IN honor of my mom and her best friend...hoping they are together again, honoring their friendship and love, and wanting them to know that their daughters are continuing their legacy of friendship and that they did a beautiful job mothering us.…
- Edie
This is my daddy Abel Montoya whom I lost to cancer in 2017. He taught me all that I know about caring for others and of faith.
- Lydia
This is a photo of Granny and me circa 1972-ish. I was closer to her than any other family member. She wanted everyone to call her Granny. She was always kind and understanding. She loved to cook. Not a gourmet but a master of comfort food. I would walk into her home and she would immediately offer to feed me.
After my grandfather passed, we became much closer and talk on the phone nearly everyday.
She really wanted to live to be 100 but fell short by just 4 months…
I really miss her.
- Miik
Community Ofrenda (Altar)
We warmly invite our local community to add to our community ofrenda/altar at our office in Calabasas from October 16th to November 2nd to honor and celebrate the lives of our loved ones who have passed. This joyous occasion, filled with bittersweet remembrance, reminds us of the enduring bonds we share with those we’ve lost. At your next in-person appointment, we invite you to bring a copy of a photo (no originals, please) of your loved one, which can be placed on our community altar during your visit. This altar will serve as a space of collective remembrance, allowing us to honor our personal losses while celebrating the memories of those who have shaped our lives. Additionally, we welcome you to share a short story or special tribute about your loved one, helping to bring their presence into our shared space of reflection and healing. Join us in this meaningful celebration, where grief transforms into connection and sorrow becomes joy. If you prefer to participate in the
online space, submit your story below or email your therapist.
Dates: October 16th to November 2nd
Confidentiality Disclaimer: Once you share your photo or story online, it will no longer be confidential, as it may be publicly viewable by others. We encourage thoughtful consideration of what you feel comfortable sharing. Your privacy and comfort are of the utmost importance to us.
Create Your Own Ofrenda
Jennifer White demonstrates how she creates a Día de los Muertos altar for her child clients, incorporating meaningful items that honor loved ones. She encourages adding photos, cherished belongings, traditional altar items, or anything else that feels significant to remember them.
Submit your Story
This year, we are also inviting participants to share a short story, memory, or special tribute about their loved one. Whether it’s a cherished moment, a lesson they taught you, or a way they impacted your life, your story can help bring their presence into our shared space of reflection and healing. Feel free to add your name or remain anonymous.
Confidentiality Disclaimer: Once you share your photo or story online, it will no longer be confidential, as it may be publicly viewable by others. We encourage thoughtful consideration of what you feel comfortable sharing. Your privacy and comfort are of the utmost importance to us.
Learn about Día de los Muertos
(Day of the Dead)
Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is a vibrant and meaningful Mexican tradition celebrated on November 1st and 2nd. It is a time to honor and remember deceased loved ones, blending indigenous beliefs with Spanish Catholic influences. Unlike typical perceptions of death as somber, Día de los Muertos embraces death as a natural part of life, characterized by joy, remembrance, and connection.
During this celebration, families create ofrendas (altars) adorned with photos, favorite foods, and items that belonged to the deceased. Marigolds (cempasúchil) are often used to decorate these altars, believed to guide spirits back to the living world with their bright color and scent. Other symbols, such as sugar skulls (calaveras) and Papel Picado (decorative paper), add to the festive atmosphere.
The holiday serves as a reminder of the enduring bonds between the living and the dead, allowing families to celebrate the lives of those who have passed while reflecting on the love and memories they shared. It is a time of communal gathering, storytelling, and honoring legacies, transforming grief into a celebration of life.
If you’re interested in learning more about the beautiful traditions of Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) and how to honor your loved ones during this special celebration, we invite you to join our watch our recorded livestream! Hosted by Calabasas Counseling and Rose Castellanos Cruz, we delve into the origins, the significance of its symbols, and meaningful ways to celebrate this heartfelt occasion.